Yes Mannar!

Is a person at the core, 'just a thought'?

2011-07-19T10:53:00.002-04:00

This is some creepy stuff, read at your own risk...

We see people, who have lost their leg, but still survive, who have lost hands and they do survive, there may be steel rods pierced through them, still survived. So if we start making an inventory of incidental organs in the body and necessary organs, we may be able to strip a lot of them, like legs and hands only aid our existence, they r not an existence by itself, right? We do a more informed, scientific study in eliminating. In the end I am imagining that a substantially down sized brain (nullified because, even brain does lot of non-core activities, like sense pain in leg, now if there is no leg itself, why it needs that section, right?), similarly a substantially simple heart, (no need to pump that much blood), reduced nervous & digestive system. Energy comes through special pills, no food. We may want to retain eyes & mouth, as input and output devices.

In the next stage, this can further be thinned down, by separating the algorithm in brain software (which is I think DNA specific) and even eliminating heart and digestive systems...

I am actually going towards - "is a person (or "I") at the core is he just a 'thought', does it have any physical existence?"

The reason behind this thought is - basically to check if a person can be immortalized! Today with all biodegradable organs, he dies due to aging, accident, etc. But if he is just a thought, than it should have the ability to live infinitely! Can that be changed? A theory now, but can be a practicality after some years...May be not!

Do we all need a brain for what we do!

2010-09-25T06:38:00.003-04:00

Man is so greedy! what the hell am I writing, we all know it :(;

What I mean is, we want resources attached to us...much more than we ever can, will or even want to make use of them; i guess that is why I said greedy.

We all have 2 hands and 2 legs...and all multiple such things need to be existing very appropriately for us to not be unhappy (having all of them doesn't bring happiness, it just keeps us outside of unhappiness). But for all the things I do or don't do in my life time, seriously speaking, I should be ok, if I don't have one eye, one leg and one hand, couple of fingers and so on... think about it seriously!

But in reality, even if I cut my pinky toe in some accident, I am so unhappy as if, if I had it I would have been an astronaut and without that I am this useless guy :( But the fact is even after having the pinky toe and what not, we would have by far gone and seen Star Wars movie in theater...forget being an astronaut!! for doing that you should be ok with loosing 10 other things in your body...even loosing brain is ok, for the kind of things most of us do.

We and our World

2010-09-25T06:28:00.004-04:00

i wanted to go on a vacation, some place which i have not been before, i choose 'a' place,booked my flight tickets...i know it would be a looong journey, but i wanted to go....

the day came, i boarded the flight, spent that uncomfortable period there and finally landed...i do the formalities at the airport and step out...

while i was strolling for a few minutes, a strange thought crossed my mind; i picked this place, booked ticket, flew an uncomfortable time to reach here...and then what i see is, there are people already living here...living here for much longer than i or anybody whom i know lived!! and this is true with every other place; completely disconnected to you, completely not necessary of you, there are multiple worlds existing here around us, for much more times than u can imagine!!

...and we think we are the world in our selves.

Life itself is a drama...

2010-09-01T15:41:00.005-04:00

the scene - cricket match,
Match is very interestingly poised, India needs 6 runs to win and they have their best batsmen at the crease, to play the last over of the match. Australia has their best bowler who is at the job.

Brett Lee ...starts the run up, Sachin takes stance and is keenly looking at the ball. The ball is delivered at the lightening pace...it lands just between the legs and the bat - a perfect yorker. Sachin putting all his skill he knows, manages to come behind the ball and keep the ball on the and not flying into the slips hands!

Brett Lee, is disappointed, he couldnt get him out, but makes a thumbs up gesture to Sachin for playing that delivery so well! Nobody could have done any better with such a perfect yorker.

While this was the drama going on, the packed stadium and maybe all of the millions in front of TV, boo'ed Sachin. Sachin raised his head and looked at the booing crowd. "What!! do you even understand"!!? was his expression!

Cut, another situation...

There was this IPL match going on, Kolkatta Knight Riders vs somebody else...
Crucial Match, so Shahrukh Khan was there in the stands. Naturally public is only interested in seeing Shahrukh Khan, even I would have done the same, and that is the reason possibly he has come to see the match - if he is there, there will be more crowd to come and see that match, that means more money! Strange...people who were supposed to come to see Cricket, are coming because of a reason not connected to Cricket at all!

What is it that attracts us to the Movie stars? We know that they are fake, they are not real stars like Cricket Players or for that matter, even like you and me, who do things for real. Here I am not demeaning the movie profession, there are zillion real things being done by these movie folks to create that make believe world. But people dont go to view that hard work, people connect to the stars, who actually emotionally create a world which connects to the them. If a movie star bashes up 100 people, we know it is impossible, but then we relate emotionally to that and believe in that to an extent!

The emotional connect, the drama, the make believe world, these are the reasons, we make the movie stars bigger than life. Hence there is more money and more respect around them.

Money is the key, so the media managers started thinking of extending the drama into real life so that they can sell common man by building drama around it...that is why there are reality shows now a days. If marriages and swamwars are happening as part of a reality show, the next thing to that is the live - suhagraat (1st night) orto be a little decent...reality show of death...there can be a program, where you can show somebody's last few minutes or days; how his breathing is slowly stopping and how his family is wailing...can make lot of money - "mauth ka tamasha"

Similar media managers are managing sports in the nation now.

That is why if you remember, the ipl matches were also postponed to South Africa, because of elections in India. Few years back, we would have said what?! Do they dont even need people to come and see the matches? Spectators are not even needed for this game?! Not now a days, it is all about TV and advertisements and packaging it for tv and internet with drama.

Extending this a little further, media managers must realized that current generation doesnt like cricket because it is played all day!! (there used to be 5 day matches in the past also), matches are getting dull and boring, either 1 team plays very well or both will play badly and people dont enjoy so much. All this made can make media managers think, "we have done all this huge MBA's etc, etc...how to make this game more salable, how to make people watch the tv during these matches. then logical answer came from the movie world. "Movie was slow paced..., climax was not even there..., hero shouldnt have died in the end..., heroine should have shown a little more of cleavage..." these are some of the reactions from public who saw some movies! What did the producer and director do with these remarks - he actually started building his stories around these formulas which sell well. So even for these matches, the Media managers said - "let us build the drama..., what if people dont want to see for the whole day, we will make it half a day..., what if each match is not as entertaining as the one that was well played..., we can buy the players and make them or the others excel, so that public will come to the tv..." they are actually creating the drama in the real game.

So in effect may be there is a director, producer and the actors in sports as well, actors are players in this case, who meet before the game and decide that today these few bowlers will only bowl half-wollies, so that the average batsmen on the other side can hit few sixes in each over, for that he will get some huge money. In the end the average batsmen gets the man of the match. So it is actually win win situation.

In the end who is been fooled, it is the spectator...or maybe even he is not fooled, because he got what he wanted, he enjoyed the period of the match. But the point to ask is did he enjoy because he thought this was a game of talent going on and not a drama? maybe he doesn't even care. So it is a win win situation all through!!

So why is anyone complaining also. This is a huge invention by our media world to integrate drama into reality and they need to be given a Nobel Price for that!!
So actually Sachin and others can stop practicing the game and actually be in the good books of media managers, so that they hire them to act in a match. And I think if not for Sachin, at least there are a lot of others who are doing this already.

Our poor Ajju Bhai, who understood this much ahead of his time, was unnecessarily crucified. His only crime was he did it before anyone else did.

There can be a philosophical twist as well to all this - what is all this life anyway...it is also drama, right...just that we dont know who are our managers and who are our spectators.

Reminds me of my small town friend Koti, who told me 20 years back - "Jeevana ondhu naataka le" arthat... Life is nothing but a drama...so true

Expected Death!

2010-07-28T09:46:00.003-04:00

Death is inevitable, everybody knows...but we all are able to lead life normally because we dont know when do we die. But for some fortunate or unfortunate (however way you want to look at it) a doctor might tell you are in your last stage of 'so and so' desease and you will not survive more than 3 months!

What will happen to that person?

It is too hypothetical to answer, but then within that paradiagm, if I have to think, I would only feel liberated! I may be doing thousands of interesting things, but that is ok, anyway you knew that there would be this day coming, it could have been today also, or few years later, how does it matter. And at any stage I would still be in the middle of something interesting, Now with this scheduled death, I can actually plan and do those few things I want to do 'for sure', and I pity others who do not have that option!

Say for example

I always wanted to take a long leave and go on some personal journey, I couldn't do that, because I was scared of loosing the job, now I don't need to do, because I don't need a job at all! Hurray!
I couldn't also do that because I couldn't leave my family for that long a time! now I don't need to worry, because anyway I going to leave them in a couple of months.
Somebody couldn't say 'I Love You' to somebody else, because he/ she was scared of rejection and actually that only meant that how will you relate to that person after the point of rejection? Now you don't need to bother about that, because anyway you will not see that person at after 3 months.

There can be many more such things...none actually come up to making your life miserable. The only one which can be negative and that too more for the people around you and not to you so much is...they will miss you. But like they say 'smashana vairagyam' it will soon pass away! We all have seen our loved ones die in our lives, it is scary but we lived past it always!

I never can ride a 'roller coaster', I am dead scared...but when pushed into it I will come out of it in few minutes and then it is ok...there is no roller coaster which will run past few moments! Even this death of your loved ones...is a timed roller coaster ride itself, we will come out of it.

When there are so many benefits. Still it is considered dreadful to know that you will die in say 3 months. Why?

We have to shake up our foundations and re align our emotions towards being happy...currently we are only happy (momentarily only) when there is nothing to be sad about.

Love...

2010-05-23T18:01:00.005-04:00

I believe, Love is something which everybody does with themselves, expect that lot of others do with them and also expect that they do it for few others...but both these expectations are false...

...where as with Hate, it is exactly the opposite!!

Self Sympathy is more dangerous than AIDS

2010-01-11T00:28:00.006-05:00

I am oppressed for 100's of years...
I am deprived of education...
I am weak, hence cannot work hard...
There is no school in my town, so I cannot study...
All my class mates have computer and Internet and hence they obviously do better...
There are only 3 seats, all of them go to reserved categories...
I am very poor, don't even have money for 2 meals, so cant help...
I am very old, nobody needs me, I am very sad...
I have two children and both are autistic, God has been very unfair to me...
I have been struggling for a movie chance, but I am not very handsome like Abhishek, so...

:-( :-(

Whom are you telling this and why?

Do you really think, somebody else other than you will solve your problems? If you don't care to solve your problem, why the hell do you think somebody will fix it for you.

Rather than saying these things, do something which is anything of your choice; the moment you start doing that something...whole world will be different.

:-) :-)

Wish me (and you) a very happy...this moment!

2010-01-01T00:00:00.012-05:00

...and every other one which follows, as every one is new and each of those brings with it, an opportunity to be Happy!!
Then why wait for a whole year to wish happiness for ourselves??

//Though wishing alone doesnt accomplish anything, it is that first essential, important, small step towards any goal!//

Dil pe mat le yaar!!

2009-12-28T00:14:00.007-05:00

There was a day, when I was sad...I had failed my college exams;
Then again I learnt new things in life during that time, I was happy;
I passed, finally...I was happy...soon I had to struggle finding job...I was unhappy
I found a job, I was happy; But, I had to work...I was not happy;
I kept making progress in professional life, I was happy; but that took me away from my parents, I was unhappy
I come Home once in while, I am Happy; I know, I will soon go away, so I am unhappy
I have a wonderful family, I am happy; then there are always ups and downs there as well;

There can be lot more such examples, but the point is made!

I have witnessed quite a few triggers in life which either bring happiness or sadness, and now they have lost their effect...I most of the times only witness those events without much attachment!

Whatever happens in my day to day life, these moments of Happiness and Sadness always keep coming in for sure, can I control them? maybe to a small extent, but grossly - I cant do much!;

So why take it to heart, be it happiness or sorrow?

Andhra/ Telengana...a creative solution!

2009-12-25T12:34:00.005-05:00

Let us first understand the matter -

1. Telengana remains backward and other areas are flourishing (maybe a perception, however this needs to be addressed)

2. Hyderabad will become a point of contention, it is much larger than just which geography it belongs. Whole world has invested and it should be viewed in that way

3. For a common man it is just the telugu pride, what will happen all over the world is telugu's get divided and that is not good.

How do we provide a solution to all the above?

Let us research if there is a creative way of creating 2 governing bodies, but one state...something like "United States of Andhra Pradesh"...If it has not been done before, maybe then it is a constitution amendment, should explore.

This will sell well, because, telugu sentiment is very high and people don't want to be divided that way. Telengana public also only want extra focus on Telengana and their governance.

A sample idea could be

1 Chief Minister and 2 separate assemblies one each for Telengana and others, headed by separate speakers, these assemblies also will function from their location/ city of convenience...This can be tried for 5 years and even then there is no satisfaction, then we can get back to other solutions...

Divorce

2009-12-21T11:22:00.005-05:00

There was a marriage materialized between Andhra Pradesh and Telengana, 50 years ago. They were not an ideal couple but when they were not fighting, they did well, like any couple in the world.

One of the fruits of this successful/ unsuccessful marriage is a child called Hyderabad (at least the modern version of it). Now mummy, papa have fallen out completely and are heading for a divorce. Both of them are saying - "Woh toh theek hai, lekin baccha mere saath hi rahega"

... this is the real problem in any divorce, kid's suffer. Or like in western world, let the kid go his way, equi-distant from both parents, when the child is old enough!

kya yeh possible hai?

this is a real drama of politics, ego and power

Intelligence & Emotions

2009-12-20T20:03:00.006-05:00

Intelligence helps you to know what is coming next, already & that will reduce the emotional impact, you are more prepared!

while this may seem like one somebody who is intelligent is not emotional, but he or she has gone through it already and as it was internal and with no evident reason, it goes unnoticed.

//the reason I am writing this is not yet clear to me, but I wanted to keep it documented for my re-reading later//

Moment of truth @ Midnight!

2009-12-02T23:16:00.008-05:00

..Please skip this if you are not a gulte (telugu)

That day, it was raining outside, there were an old couple who were getting out of a store. The lady was evidently not able to walk freely, she must be going through lot of pain in her legs, she is slowly coming out of the shop, though holding an umbrella in one hand as walking itself was so much stress, her focus was not on it and she was getting wet anyway. She came out looking for an auto...husband was possibly still in the store, he must be concluding the sale...He appears in a few moments, he is carrying a tricycle, you know these tricycles especially one for small children are set of pipes fixed into a awkward bulky shape, though not very heavy, makes it difficult to carry...Well, he was walking, almost hopping, because he wanted to avoid slipping in the rain as well as he wanted to catchup with his wife.

Now this wife and husband are standing next to a street, looking for a auto..."Auto, Auto...ikkada" old man shouts for a passing auto, that one occupied and zipped past without stopping..."Nenu cheppina, nuwwu enduku ee wanalo rawatam, nene poyi konukkoni wastha kada ani...kaani cheppina maata nuwwu ekkada intawu, ippudu chudu, vaana lo..." husband is exhibiting anger on his wife, but it was more driven from concern..."emi, emantunnaru...e sabdala lo emi inapadadu"...not sure if the husband heard that reply either....

"Auto" ...calling for one more auto...the auto slows down and "kidhar jana""..."Tarnaka..., wasthawa..." The auto just departs, no answers, no reasons given..."hmm! ee auto wallaki chaala poguru, walla intiiki poye towalo unte ne passenger ni ekkichkuntaru"...five minutes passes in a similar way...they are almost wet already! "10 ghantalouthondhi...mari poddhunni airport ki kuda wellala, ee auto eppudu dorukuthundo..." worried wife says...

there is a taxi, dropping some passengers where they were standing..."aa taxi ni adagandi, wasthademo" says wife..."taxi waadu, chaala aduguthaadu, neeku eepudu edhi ekkuwa costly untundo ade ishtam!" husband says irritatingly...after a few moments, when the taxi was reversing, possibly because he was concerned that his wife was getting wet in the rain and all that inconvenience...old man walks to the taxi hurriedly to catch him before he left "taxi, taxi" car stops and the driver lowered the window to listen to the husband..."Tarnaka...wasthawa...?" Taxi driver thinks for a while and " wastha, akkada ekkada"...they further talk about location and husband says "meter meeda iythe ne, nahi toh hum nahi aathe...". Possibly taxi driver had to go that way only....he agreed.

Husband loads the tricycle in the back seat next to his wife and he himself seats next to the driver, you see a person who doesnt travel by car so much, wants to sit in the front seat of the car...maybe he will think he is almost driving the car, its a man's thing!!...

husband and wife were relieved...husband, looking at driver - "yeh barish, pareshan ho gaye bhai", "hmm..." driver doesn't talk much

"cyclu, bommalu, entha baagha unnayo...edi idawabuddi kaaledhu..."
"neeku ekkadaa leni utsaham...paapodu americalo chudani, adani bommala..." replies husband...

taxi, continuous to go further...

"awunu...podduna airport ki car mataladera", "ledu, rendu saarlu phone chesina ewaru ettha ledu, ippudu poyi malli chestha", "ayyo, letayi poyindhi kadandi...ardha raatri rendu ghanatalaku waadu wastado ledo...", "sare, sare...ippudu pothune chestha...nuwwu nannu urke satayinchodu"

taxi journey continuous...

in the dim light from the street lights, the husband sees that there is "vaasu" painted on the windshield...he looks at the driver and proudly says - "vaasu, maa manamani peru, repu maa koduku, kodalu, manamadu wasthunaaru, poddunna 4 ghanatalaku flight...america nunchi", ..."mubarak ho peddayana"

..."next right chodke, daani next chowrastha lo right turn tisuko"...thats how we give directions in India..."hm, hm...idhar nahi next..."
"bas, bas...ikkade, aa inti mundara nilupu..."

husband and wife exit the car...take the tricycle out...bending towards the driver - "meter entha iyyindhi", "90 saab"..., husband is putting his hand in the pocket...takes money out...counting the money...they realize, it is only 85 rupees..." yeme...nedeggara 5 rupayilu unnaya" husband asks wife, "ledhu, nenu purse kuda teledhu"..."sare, undu babu...nenu intlo poyi testha...", "ikkada e peddayana, 5 rupay ke liye endhuku pareshan awutawu..."

"shukriya", he gave the money and they both walked away from the car into their home...

husband and wife come home, it is already 1030...wife says, she is tired and will lie down!
"naaku assalu emi aakali ledhu, raatri niddara kuda sarigga undadhu, nenu alage padukunesthanu...meeru podduna chesina annam, pappu undhi tineyandi"
husband is already busy - "hello, hello...khasim unnara"...he is calling the car fellow..."ekkada poyinaaru...maaku car kaawala ani rendu rojula krindate chepemu kadha, ippudu meeru emi cheppaka pothe maaku entha kashtam", " sare wasthune phone cheyamani cheppandi", "mee peru emi, abbas?, sare"

"emanta, e car wallanu assalu nammete ledhu...ippudemi chesedhi" realizing the contents of phone conversation wife says from her sleeping position itself...
"call cab wallaki phone cheyandi...", "naaku chaalayipoyindhi, nenu ewariki phone cheselledhu, nee ishtam nuwwe chesuko"

"hello, maaku taxi kaawalandi"...wife had got up and picked the number from the newspaper and called the city cab..."repu podduna rendu ghantalaku...", "emi, endhuku"...she disconnected the phone...
city cab wallaku carlu freega lewanta, 5 ghantalakithe wastharanta..."
"eppudu ee car la godawa ne..."

"nuwwu addam kaawe, emite adhi awutundhi...edi dorakaka pothe...oka auto thisukoni podhamu..."
"sare...meeru bhojanam cheseyandi", "nenu emo chestha le, nuwwu koncham rest thisuko"...he says this and relaxes on the sofa...

both of them were fast asleep in the next few minutes, husband sitting on sofa itself and wife on the diwan...they must have been tried, stressed and excited.

When the husband woke up, lights were all on, he hurriedly looked at the wall clock, it showed - 130..."yeme, leyi...time iyyindhi"..."ayyo...entha niddara wachesindhi"..."sare, sare, nuwwu ready kaa...nenu kuda ready i-tha, podhamu..." husband, made a last try call to khasim...no response...

"nuwwu baagha sweater wesuko, muffler kuda kattuko, mari chawu noppi adi wasthe kashtam...", "hmm..hmm"
"meeru", "nenu wesukunna le"

"purse, dabbulu pettunkunnaraa...", "hmm, petukunna"

they go out and were about to close the door..."tring, tring...tring, tring"..."phone andi...aa car wademo", husband walks enthusiastically inside..."hello, hello...", "cut ipoyindhi"...,"sare, sare inka late iwuthundhi podham pada..." they lock and step outside.

old man and woman, walk out onto the main road...rain had stopped but as it was very early in the morning, it was very cold. They were both covered with woollen stuff..."meeru kuda mufler kattaukowalasinde...", "sare naaku module inapadadhu, inka mufler to aiythe anthe mari...poyi edina autono, taxino chudaala"..."mellaga, nuwwu mellega naduwu"

There are not many people on the street at that time, it was still dark and not much was seen..."sare nenu koncham aa cross waruku poyi chustha...", "undandi, ikkade edina wasthundo emo..."...by that time husband was already walking...maybe he did not hear as well!

As he was walking few steps, he saw that there is a car parked under a tree opposite to their home itself, he wondered if it was a taxi, or it could be somebody's car parked as well...usually there are quite a few people parking their cars on the road itself...he changed his course and walked towards that car...as he went closer, he saw red words "Taxi"...now there was hope in him, walking a little faster, he peeped through the window and tried to see if the driver was inside...indeed, there was somebody sleeping in the driver seat..."yeme...", "ikkada oka taxi undi, driver kuda unnatte undhi" he said loudly to his wife..."waakili kottandi"...slapping the driver seat glass.."babu...wasthawa... babu"...as for all this noise, the person inside the car, woke..., slowly, he came out and yawningly asked..." emi saar"..."wasthawa?...airport ki wellala...", "sare...", by this time, wife walked upto the car..."wasthadanta...pada" so, there was excitement, cold and eagerness to go, so hurriedly they sat in the car..., driver picked a bottle from under his seat, maybe water...went outside and splashed some water on his face, cleaned his mouth, had a sip of same...and came back to drive.

"Perumalle-nandi, sahayam chesedu...leka pothe, taxi intha sulabanga ela dorukutundhi...", "sare, dorikindhi kadha"...

car started going...it was dark most of the places, but, once in a while, the sodium lamps was lighting them up...
"naaku chaala aaturanga undandi...eppudu eppudu papodni chustana ani wundhi...", "hmm..., sare inkemi oka ghanta sepe kadha"

as this journey continued...old man saw...the car interior felt familier..."haa..." there was the same "vaasu" on the wind shield..." old man, raised himself a little and went closer to the driver, "babu...nuwwu, nuwwe kadha ninna raatri...", "awanu sir, nene..." husband, looks at his wife and says...ee taxi, ninna angadi nunchi manam intiki wachina dey...", there was a momentary shock in their expressions...how come they got the same taxi? why did he park himself here?...very surprised!

"babu, maaku emi mataladalo teliayatledu...", "you dont know how much favor you have done to us", said the old man emotionally. "iysa kyun kiya tum?"
wife literally had tears in her eyes..."devudu neeku tappakunda manche chestaadu..."

"peddayana, pedamma...ekkuwa pareshan kaawaddu...", "ninna mee iddarrini chuse, chaala pareshan pareshan awutunnaru, mimmalni widichi poyeka wellutu unte naaku maa amma, nanna gurtiki wacheru", mee matalu yaad wachinayi......sare ippude intiki welli elagu nenu chesedhi kuda emi ledhu, ikkade car lo padukonni, meeku airport teeskelthe meeku kuda maddad awuthundani, return wachchi ikkade unna...", "meeku vere car dorikithe manchidi...leka pothe, nenu help chesinattu untundhani..."

what to say...the old couple were very emotional...indeed, this taxi driver exhibitted devine characteristics... more importantly he didnt make it look like a sacrifice or a great act, it was very simple thought process for him. Most of the times, if we make only one step move towards helping the society, God will add multiple steps to it and people will be immensely benefitted...

"peddayana...paisalunnaya ledha...ninna raatri 5 rupayilu kuda baaki undhi"...all of them laughed...

Human Values are @ the core of Success!

2009-12-01T20:10:00.002-05:00

Below is a speech delivered by Subroto Bagchi, CEO-1 @ Mindtree, he is a man of multiple faculties, he a thought leader, author of multiple books an eminent speaker and a successful entrepreneur...

His speech below (@ IIM, Bengaluru in 2006) will connect with our life incidents so much, our parents, their value systems and all that, I am not sure I or this current generation is successful in living and propagating such values...

I owe all my 'better's' to my parents and all my 'not so better's 'to my basic failure to emulate their life...

Below one line poem sums my thoughts around this topic -

Purano – purani kaho, nayi suno; Nayon - nayi kaho, purani suno…

---- Speech Begins here -----

I was the last child of a small-time government servant, in a family of five brothers. My earliest memory of my father is as that of a District Employment Officer in Koraput, Orissa. It was, and remains as back of beyond as you can imagine. There was no electricity; no primary school nearby and water did not flow out of a tap. As a result, I did not go to school until the age of eight; I was home-schooled. My father used to get transferred every year. The family belongings fit into the back of a jeep - so the family moved from place to place and without any trouble, my Mother would set up an establishment and get us going. Raised by a widow who had come as a refugee from the then East Bengal, she was a matriculate when she married my Father.

My parents set the foundation of my life and the value system, which makes me what I am today and largely, defines what success means to me today.

As District Employment Officer, my father was given a jeep by the government. There was no garage in the Office, so the jeep was parked in our house. My father refused to use it to commute to the office. He told us that the jeep is an expensive resource given by the government- he reiterated to us that it was not ”his jeep” but the government’s jeep. Insisting that he would use it only to tour the interiors, he would walk to his office on normal days. He also made sure that we never sat in the government jeep - we could sit in it only when it was stationary.

That was our early childhood lesson in governance - a lesson that corporate managers learn the hard way, some never do.

The driver of the jeep was treated with respect due to any other member of my Father’s office. As small children, we were taught not to call him by his name. We had to use the suffix ‘dada’ whenever we were to refer to him in public or private. When I grew up to own a car and a driver by the name of Raju was appointed - I repeated the lesson to my two small daughters. They have, as a result, grown up to call Raju, ‘Raju Uncle’ - very different from many of their friends who refer to their family driver, as ‘my driver’. When I hear that term from a school- or college-going person, I cringe.

To me, the lesson was significant - you treat small people with more respect than how you treat big people. It is more important to respect your subordinates than your superiors.

Our day used to start with the family huddling around my Mother’s chulha - an earthen fire place she would build at each place of posting where she would cook for the family. There was neither gas, nor electrical stoves.The morning routine started with tea. As the brew was served, Father would ask us to read aloud the editorial page of The Statesman’s ‘muffosil’ edition - delivered one day late. We did not understand much of what we were reading. But the ritual was meant for us to know that the world was larger than Koraput district and the English I speak today, despite having studied in an Oriya medium school, has to do with that routine. After reading the newspaper aloud, we were told to fold it neatly. Father taught us a simple lesson.

He used to say, “You should leave your newspaper and your toilet, the way you expect to find it”. That lesson was about showing consideration to others. Business begins and ends with that simple precept.
Being small children, we were always enamored with advertisements in the newspaper for transistor radios - we did not have one. We saw other people having radios in their homes and each time there was an advertisement of Philips, Murphy or Bush radios, we would ask Father when we could get one. Each time, my Father would reply that we did not need one because he already had five radios - alluding to his five sons.

We also did not have a house of our own and would occasionally ask Father as to when, like others, we would live in our own house. He would give a similar reply,” We do not need a house of our own. I already own five houses”. His replies did not gladden our hearts in that instant.

Nonetheless, we learnt that it is important not to measure personal success and sense of well being through material possessions.

Government houses seldom came with fences. Mother and I collected twigs and built a small fence. After lunch, my Mother would never sleep. She would take her kitchen utensils and with those she and I would dig the rocky, white ant infested surrounding. We planted flowering bushes. The white ants destroyed them. My mother brought ash from her chulha and mixed it in the earth and we planted the seedlings all over again. This time, they bloomed. At that time, my father’s transfer order came. A few neighbors told my mother why she was taking so much pain to beautify a government house, why she was planting seeds that would only benefit the next occupant. My mother replied that it did not matter to her that she would not see the flowers in full bloom. She said, “I have to create a bloom in a desert and whenever I am given a new place, I must leave it more beautiful than what I had inherited”.

That was my first lesson in success. It is not about what you create for yourself, it is what you leave behind that defines success.

My mother began developing a cataract in her eyes when I was very small. At that time, the eldest among my brothers got a teaching job at the University in Bhubaneswar and had to prepare for the civil services examination. So, it was decided that my Mother would move to cook for him and, as her appendage, I had to move too. For the first time in my life I saw electricity in homes and water coming out of a tap. It was around 1965 and the country was going to war with Pakistan. My mother was having problems reading and in any case, being Bengali, she did not know the Oriya script. So, in addition to my daily chores, my job was to read her the local newspaper - end to end. That created in me a sense of connectedness with a larger world. I began taking interest in many different things. While reading out news about the war, I felt that I was fighting the war myself. She and I discussed the daily news and built a bond with the larger universe. In it, we became part of a larger reality. Till date, I measure my success in terms of that sense of larger connectedness. Meanwhile, the war raged and India was fighting on both fronts. Lal Bahadur Shastri, the then Prime Minster, coined the term “Jai Jawan, Jai Kishan” and galvanized the nation in to patriotic fervor. Other than reading out the newspaper to my mother, I had no clue about how I could be part of the action. So, after reading her the newspaper, every day I would land up near the University’s water tank, which served the community. I would spend hours under it, imagining that there could be spies who would come to poison the water and I had to watch for them. I would daydream about catching one and how the next day, I would be featured in the newspaper. Unfortunately for me, the spies at war ignored the sleepy town of Bhubaneswar and I never got a chance to catch one in action. Yet, that act unlocked my imagination.

Imagination is everything. If we can imagine a future, we can create it, if we can create that future, others will live in it. That is the essence of success.

Over the next few years, my mother’s eyesight dimmed but in me she created a larger vision, a vision with which I continue to see the world and, I sense, through my eyes, she was seeing too. As the next few years unfolded, her vision deteriorated and she was operated for cataract. I remember, when she returned after her operation and she saw my face clearly for the first time, she was astonished. She said, “Oh my God, I did not know you were so fair”. I remain mighty pleased with that adulation even till date. Within weeks of getting her sight back, she developed a corneal ulcer and, overnight, became blind in both eyes. That was 1969. She died in 2002. In all those 32 years of living with blindness, she never complained about her fate even once. Curious to know what she saw with blind eyes, I asked her once if she sees darkness. She replied, “No, I do not see darkness. I only see light even with my eyes closed”. Until she was eighty years of age, she did her morning yoga everyday, swept her own room and washed her own clothes.
To me, success is about the sense of independence; it is about not seeing the world but seeing the light.

Over the many intervening years, I grew up, studied, joined the industry and began to carve my life’s own journey. I began my life as a clerk in a government office, went on to become a Management Trainee with the DCM group and eventually found my life’s calling with the IT industry when fourth generation computers came to India in 1981. Life took me places - I worked with outstanding people, challenging assignments and traveled all over the world.

In 1992, while I was posted in the US, I learnt that my father, living a retired life with my eldest brother, had suffered a third degree burn injury and was admitted in the Safderjung Hospital in Delhi. I flew back to attend to him - he remained for a few days in critical stage, bandaged from neck to toe. The Safderjung Hospital is a cockroach infested, dirty, inhuman place. The overworked, under-resourced sisters in the burn ward are both victims and perpetrators of dehumanized life at its worst. One morning, while attending to my Father, I realized that the blood bottle was empty and fearing that air would go into his vein, I asked the attending nurse to change it. She bluntly told me to do it myself. In that horrible theater of death, I was in pain and frustration and anger. Finally when she relented and came, my Father opened his eyes and murmured to her, “Why have you not gone home yet?” Here was a man on his deathbed but more concerned about the overworked nurse than his own state. I was stunned at his stoic self.

There I learnt that there is no limit to how concerned you can be for another human being and what the limit of inclusion is you can create.

My father died the next day. He was a man whose success was defined by his principles, his frugality, his universalism and his sense of inclusion.

Above all, he taught me that success is your ability to rise above your discomfort, whatever may be your current state. You can, if you want, raise your consciousness above your immediate surroundings. Success is not about building material comforts - the transistor that he never could buy or the house that he never owned. His success was about the legacy he left, the memetic continuity of his ideals that grew beyond the smallness of a ill-paid, unrecognized government servant’s world.

My father was a fervent believer in the British Raj. He sincerely doubted the capability of the post-independence Indian political parties to govern the country. To him, the lowering of the Union Jack was a sad event. My Mother was the exact opposite. When Subhash Bose quit the Indian National Congress and came to Dacca, my mother, then a schoolgirl, garlanded him. She learnt to spin khadi and joined an underground movement that trained her in using daggers and swords. Consequently, our household saw diversity in the political outlook of the two. On major issues concerning the world, the Old Man and the Old Lady had differing opinions.

In them, we learnt the power of disagreements, of dialogue and the essence of living with diversity in thinking.

Success is not about the ability to create a definitive dogmatic end state; it is about the unfolding of thought processes, of dialogue and continuum.

Two years back, at the age of eighty-two, Mother had a paralytic stroke and was lying in a government hospital in Bhubaneswar. I flew down from the US where I was serving my second stint, to see her. I spent two weeks with her in the hospital as she remained in a paralytic state. She was neither getting better nor moving on. Eventually I had to return to work. While leaving her behind, I kissed her face. In that paralytic state and a garbled voice, she said - “Why are you kissing me, go kiss the world.” Her river was nearing its journey, at the confluence of life and death, this woman who came to India as a refugee, raised by a widowed Mother, no more educated than high school, married to an anonymous government servant whose last salary was Rupees Three Hundred, robbed of her eyesight by fate and crowned by adversity was telling me to go and kiss the world!

Success to me is about Vision. It is the ability to rise above the immediacy of pain. It is about imagination. It is about sensitivity to small people. It is about building inclusion. It is about connectedness to a larger world existence. It is about personal tenacity. It is about giving back more to life than you take out of it. It is about creating extra-ordinary success with ordinary lives.

Thank you very much; I wish you good luck and God’s speed. Go! kiss the world.

2012...is it end of my world ?!

2009-11-27T18:47:00.002-05:00

Either Independence Day our own Magadheera or today's 2012 or may such other are such an overwhelming movie watching experience...however story's are pretty pedestrian. But what is a movie after all, it has to tell a story and effectively and this they do very successfully.

However it dampens my small town spirits, I possibly cannot imagine my stories in such grand scale and also I thought I can keep my engineering skills out, even that doesn't seem to be possible, these movies are less of stories and more of engineering projects!!

Break the monotony....

2009-11-22T19:36:00.004-05:00

I would like to write about a simple but a revealing moment in my life...

About 12 years ago, I used to live and work in Bangalore, used to commute between Shivaji Nagar and a certain place beyond Brigade road, I used to live on one side and work on the other, so I used to see the same road and surroundings everyday, maybe if somebody asked I would say I knew every stone on that way. I never had any vehicle, by far maybe I would be sitting behind on my friends scooter.

One day, we were moving, I mean changing home from Shivaji Nagar to somewhere else, so we hired a small truck, which we loaded with our things and were also sitting in the front side of that truck...we traversed the same road, which I mentioned above.

What I was seeing out of the window was completely different from what I used to see for last each time I walked on that street! It was beyond recognition. The reason, I was sitting at a much higher position from the ground and I could view beyond the compound walls next to the road, which I could not see earlier when I used to walk or ride on a scooter.

This is a very pedestrian thought, but I felt more philosophical at that time and that is the reason I still remember. If we break the monotony and view things around us from a different point of view, maybe there are some interesting results.

Pain and Suffering...

2009-10-23T17:36:00.003-04:00

I have most of the times used the above words interchangeably...but I think they are different words with different meanings...Pain is more of a cause and Suffering an mental and psychological effect of it. When I put it that way, then there appears there is a chance to eliminate suffering, right? Let me see...

That is the whole idea of this article...explore thought processes which cause sufferings and try and eliminate those.
I fell down and broke my feet; I failed in my exams; My wife beat me today; I missed my lottery by a single digit...all these can be pains...how our mind perceives these pains and processes will confirm whether I am in suffering or no.

Let us take each example separately and examine; if I broke my feet, there is physical pain associated with it, there is some other issues like, you possibly were in the middle of nowhere, had to find help and get to a nearby medical facility, needed to organize money for repair, blah, blah! All these are actually the add-ons to the actual pain...that is where crisis management comes into scene. Look, falling down was not in your control and the physical pain associated with is not...if we first come to an understanding that this pain will be there, cant help, we need to do what needs to be done 'unemotionally' and in a non self sympathizing mode...then all those things like getting to the hospital and home will happen smoothly...the pain doesn't go away, but it does not become a mental suffering! There are people who can look at breaking the leg as a positive thing, you can simply lay down and watch tv! how many times we get such opportunity...

Failed in an exam again could be your own not studying and writing properly or that dumb professor couldn't understand your handwriting...whatever it is, you cannot do anything about that 'now'...as an add on, there are these problems...you loose your year of growth, your friends go ahead, you have to study the same and write again, etc...well again taking an unsentimental approach...whatever bad had to happen happened...what needs to be done is make up the mind and prepare for the exams, you have lot of time with you, because you are not going to college or work, so here is an opportunity...if best used can turn out to be a gold mine! Look all of us who kept passing the exams, how much of a difference did a year make or for that matter...most of these folks who went to school, college, work, get married, children, one after the other...think that they are in a rat race and never got an opportunity to do anything differently! Here is the opportunity given to somebody who failed. By thinking like this instead of suffering it became a moment of victory!

Similarly..wife beating; guys nothing can be done with this...just lie down and wait for the pain to subside and go and ask sorry because you possibly did something very wrong (which you are not even aware) and things will be normal in a few days! Look we possibly avoided 'n' number of World Wars! This is indeed a positive thing!

So, Boy...it is all in the mind to how to perceive pain and not make it into a suffering!

Now there are another interesting set of sufferings, for which the pain is unfounded!

Today My Boss scolded me in front of everybody else; When my friend came from abroad, he brought a gift for all others but nothing for me!; Me and my son were very close and we got him married and after that he is a very different person, doesn't talk to me all that well!;

In all these the pain and suffering are both created by the mind! Again in all these, the reason for our state is because of somebodyelse's behaviour, which we absolutely don't have any control!

Let us take multiple steps back...who is the most important person in this world? Is it parents? Is it a friend? Is it your child? Is it your life partner?...Who is the most important person to you in this world?

I would say all the above mentioned relationships are very important, but the most important relationship is 'SELF', 'I' This is not a selfish statement, this is the truth! From the beginning to the end if anybody is with you, that is you yourself! and you have to be very compassionate to that person. What do we do with a most important thing in our life, we take care of it with love, we don't want it to get hurt, we don't want it to suffer! That's how we should take care of us.

So leave alone what anybody else does and says to you...because it is their life...you have to only ensure that you will remain happy and undisturbed.

Boss shouted at me...look if there was anything wrong you did, if yes...then that is a valid punishment; you can fix that and go back to your boss, you are better than all the other colleagues who didn't get an opportunity to go from negative to positive, you all know graph measures more when it travels from -1 to + 1 when compared to 0 to +1.

Same with gift...there are n reasons why your friend didn't bring a gift...he could be simply having some grudge against you...then he is not a friend in the first place...or he forgot, even then you cannot do much, but if you truly believe he is your friend you need to forgive and forget!

Since time immemorial, this parents, son, marriage pain and suffering is going on...I think the last time all of them smile and laugh is for that marriage photograph...after that it is all 'no-pain' but suffering!
This is my point of view - parents take care of children all life, they actually start making lot of adjustments in their lives from the time the child comes into their lives...no doubt all these adjustments are done with lot of love and satisfaction. But if you look at it, in a man and woman's life the peak age - 25 to 40 has been spent primarily facilitating the child! They have not seen too many movies, because of home work...not theirs, their children's!! And a lot more such sacrifices. So like the western community...however towards the age of 16-17 the children start the 'hate parents movement'...so let them go and lead their life and we/ you parents resume our/your life! So with this view...if you think 'son got married and doesn't care'...fuck the son for a change...who cares! This is such a self empowering statement...I am not suggesting stop caring for relationships, I am only saying care for yourself more, more than anything else!
Even our mythology says, God resides in all of us; for that firstly we should identify God is within us and we have to take care of him with utmost care and love...each time you suffer, God also suffers!

Eating and not eating Meat...

2009-10-22T17:26:00.004-04:00

One more core question to me...I am a glutton when it comes to eating food, I can even say I live because I like eating!!...but I have not eaten meat...that is may be because of my upbringing, family or whatever during early days...but even after I became independent in thought, I couldn't cross over...

...I crossed over many times in my life, I mean I used to do/ say a certain thing in the past and later point of life I said or did the exact opposite...this was because I realized those subjects differently, life made me realize that. In this meat case...my core value to not eat meat is that...normally we don't cause pain or suffering to anybody in our life leave alone killing...or at least try not to, am I right? I need to answer this question 'oppositely' for me to start eating meat.

Now why I am so much talking about myself is to present a question...

There are some comfort giving postulates by meat eaters...basically those animals are there to be eaten; if you don't eat those animals, then there will be imbalance in the ecosystem; are not plants having life, if yes then even that is as good as eating meat; blah blah! (These dont come near to satisfy my above 'core value'. if it did possibly I would have eaten meat and satisfied my eating pleasures further).
Now the question -
Just talking about this ecosystem...the human population is growing alarmingly...so will it happen in 100 or 200 years, to maintain the eco-balance...man will start eating human meat?!

Dont tell me this is happening in Amazon jungles...I am saying will Mc Donald start serving Human finger fries along with french fries :-)

God is a Super Director and our world is his Story!

2009-09-08T14:36:00.006-04:00

While answering a question to someone, I hit upon a view point on my favorite subject - God

If one doesn't believe in God! My question is why he/ she doesn't, how can there be no super power, which is making this whole world go around...simple fact which we should agree is nothing can go round, without somebody putting it into an orbit and pressing the start button.

…In this view point, I see God is a Director, like the movie directors on this earth, who are executing their ideas as drama's for us to present case studies of behaviors of a particular character in a particular situation…God is a super director, who is doing something similar…but at a very large scale!!

To lead a good practical life and to be successful at that, it is good that we draw the line between our playground and God's playground and we should not trespass, there is quite a bit to achieve in our playground itself and that is enough...however it gets challenged where ever both the worlds meet – like death of a very close person, whom you don't want to die. What do you do when such a thing happens…For most of the people, when their loved ones are on the death bed and the Doctor says nothing much can be done…they try praying to God! They don't know, if God helps, that is why they don't even re-question God when their prayer fails…common man needs God to live those moments of uncertainty, sorrow!

I do not subscribe to prayers – as I don't know how a character within a drama pray to the director – not to kill another character, because that is what he is intending to do, that is what is his story!

Subhash Nagre cannot pray to Ramgopal Varma, not to kill Shankar in Sarkar Raj! Can he…??

More About Movies

2009-08-13T13:14:00.011-04:00

Ramu - Continuing my monologue on a concept called movies (in my own limited knowledge perspective)...

A movie as I discussed earlier, then it all again starts with a thought or a series of thoughts in ones mind...incase we have like minded people around us we will narate and discuss those thoughts and one thing leads to another and we would have conversed for considerable amount of time and dwelt into so many dimensions of a hypothetical situation, at the end of it one derives a certain kind of kick ...it gives the pleasure of becoming aware of certain new dimensions of life

we used to be 5 friends and two of them were always wonder what a terrible waste of time guys we were...when nights are passed and ash trays are filled over conversations...but that is them for them and we for we or each I for an I...

mind and bar table...While this is where it end with most of us, there will be some people, who will have extra passion (kujli) to go further, make a story - either in a form of writing or more popularly an audio visual medium (because writing is more tedious, people talk about grammar, writing ethics, etc...who the hell have read wrenin martin!)...intention of furthering the communication is not that there was a great moral in the story and want to let the world know about it...interest is only in the process of communication; you see what happened on the bar table was a thrill, imagine what could be the thrill factor to make a full 9 yards movie out of it!! immense!!...but leave it, most of us don't get there, at least not me!...

So one few like Ramu will go ahead and create a screenplay...that itself will give another huge kick...and then devices the scenes and sets and actors and locations and heroines and what not...whooww..all this is definitely more than a kick it is an orgasm! Well he obviously needs to find his own money to finance or find a bakara (by bakara I don't mean he will be duped, just used that word for low value necessary attachment), he will be fully aware of what he is funding and he can do whatever he wants to sell this product...even if that means hanging a mannequin in front of theaters...! who cares! at least Ramu shouldn't care even if they are using his face for the mannequin!

In all this narration, in the mind of story communicator or director or movie maker whatever you call...spectators are not discussed, need not be because it is not about them it is all about the story teller and the story! spectators have only discovered that they can have certain kick by watching what they enjoy...it could be a shakeela movie or steven speilberg master piece or multiple any others'...

Sachin Tendulkar plays cricket with certain expertise...he hits a beautiful six, his thrill and pleasure is from the way he could effect that stroke so successfully; spectators 'millions in number' will jump at that; India wins a match; surprisingly I am able to see all these as disparate worldly happenings.

So to sum it up in any particular worldly cause and effect situation...everybody have their own interests...nobody is doing anything for anybody else...or if we break it down that way - there is nothing in this world which anybody does anything for anybody other than themselves!

Movie Reviews: What the hell is that - first of all it is not a gold or a diamond or steel which have some tangible properties which can be certified and verified...so this drama of review is all bullshit, Let us retrace the basic premise - I as a movie maker will make what I want to make...I don't care about public; the same ' I' as a spectator, will have deep inside me defining my pleasure points (known only to me) and will watch what I want to watch, I don't care about the movie maker...so it is such a joke that somebody inbetwen these both want to have his stake.

Infact just now thinking I will say there can be a purpose - in a way they can outline the story (in the best of their abilities, not with high funda english but by simply telling what they saw), not making opinions, because that doesn't have any meaning...and I will then watch a movie to see the journey of the story, to experience it; this is true even with suspense themes...what the hell, I can watch Sixth Sense again even though I know Bruce Wills is a ghost...!

Sachin hit 6 sixes in a match is story telling, explaining all the nuances which Ravi Shastri does is bullshit...that should be best left to public, they will enjoy if they have that defined in them as thrill ! can Ravi Shashtri affect Sachin playing cricket, does he enhance public enjoying that stroke above and beyond what Sachin has done??

Amma Cheppindhi & Aakashamantha

2009-08-12T09:29:00.006-04:00

There are 2 movies, I want to pour upon - Amma Cheppindhi and Aakashamantha...First Amma Cheppindhi - This is a story about a family, where there are mother father and 2 boy children...one of the boy is kind of childish in life, the other one is smart like rest of the kids. Father is sort of a scientist and mother is her usual role model mother types. Father detests this lagging child, who though in teens is the under developed. (However he sings songs and all that so I kind of think, he just wanted to have fun in life rather becoming serious!!)

Towards the climax, there is a bomb scare and apparently the flag post has bomb set in it and everybody is scared to take the flag along with the post and run far...actually they need a suicide de-bomber...and one thing leads to another and the 'role model' mother coxes this fun son to take the flag and run (not telling there is bomb in it) the son, knows knowingly runs with it and dies! because his mother has told, that is Amma Cheppindhi (Mother told)

That was a shocking experience for me...forget role model, she is not even the worst mother...but on a mother's day any year there are at least 2 channels playing this movie...as a tribute to motherhood! Please care to explain to me what am I missing or I short skilled like the hero of the movie!!
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And Aakashamantha...I think these days everybody is making this over loving father and daughter movies...and for some reason most of them find Prakash Rai as an ideal father (in real life he couldn't keep up with his wife...! that can only mean he is one hell-of-a actor another thing about his last name - he comes from a Rai family in Mangalore...but because people in his adopted land cannot comfortably pronounce Rai, he changed it to Raj! how shallow! He should have atleast thought about the other popular Rai, who even after marriage retains it as her middle name and even she works in his adopted land!!). Well now...here there is a father mother and a daughter...the journey begins from the birth of this baby girl. Mother is normal, but father Prakash Rai is obsessively loving his daughter...well I can relate this very well, I can be that! (That is the reason I have been waiting and ultimately saw this movie) Now being so obsessed is very romantic...so the movie provides that beautiful ride through their life and the daughter growing up into beautiful Trisha! The movie has some eye wetting moments like - On Prakash's birthday at midnight Trisha takes the father on a boat to the middle of lake with moon shining and says happy birthday with a cake...I would not mind dying for such a moment with my boy! and the other where baby Trisha gets a street side beggar home, because he has not eaten and fainted and not just asks father for feeding but forces them to accept him living with them...parents accept! such a golden heart!

Now the movie being such a sensitive emotional ride, I was expecting it to head towards a similar ending...but

It continues to proceed...as expected by Trisha falling in love with her MBA friend...(director choose to make this guy so special that even Prime Minister calls him!!) wants to marry and none of this things are discussed with the eternal friend - father...father is sulking in jealous and 'loss of love' status for some time, but all the glory of this groom like PM connection and he being good in nature will make him succumb and let the marriage and everything happen uneventful.

Well maybe most of the viewers didn't feel anything wrong with the happening...this is what happens in zillion homes each time a daughter gets married. But let me tell those zillion fathers, their relationship with their daughters was not as Prakash Rai's and Trisha's relationship was...this was mush more than what Kamal and Sridevi shared in Sadma (well! here I am not differentiating between love between a man and a women and father and daughter...let me write this some other time separately...but I dont believe there are multiple kinds of love if at all there is love it is only one type of love be it parent child or whatever else.); and if in Sadma, Kamal became mad when Sridevi went away, why/ how did Prakash Rai take it that lightly!! How can the director trivialize the agony of father which was anyway shown for sometime when he learns of his daughters love...by just making it look like any father's general daughter's marriage anxiety like - how will the new guy take care of her daughter and all that!!
This is a typical KLPD in the end...It looks like our director found a book in Balchandar's private library but the last few pages were torn and as he liked the story he decided to build the last 10 pages...

Clarity in thinking

2009-08-11T13:45:00.009-04:00

Open letter to Ramgopal Varma...

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Ramu,

However much you give a damn about anybody else it would be interesting for you to give a 'practicing clarity of thought' lecture in a certain philosophy school.

Much in my younger days, I had told my friend - If at all one is talking truth, he need not care about memory, because if a same question is asked 10 years apart, he will give the same answer. It is all about ones clarity of thinking and being self truthful. While I possibly said that more theoretically, I have not seen anybody who is that as much closer as you are to attaining clarity of thought.

People flock at your blog or RGV has actually become a phenomenon...much of this is I think incorrectly attributed to the way you present/respond - you write or say the exact unexpected (or in a way only expected from RGV)...like that guy who asked you the question about the Akhri Rastha pirated cd's...in this common altruistic world, most of them would have -1. avoided that question, 2. intelligently answer + don't answer, 3. Lie; but RGV will not do any of this, he will not only accept that but will also accept that there were porn cd's...well you made his day...he got his fill or RGV for his life...... Well! what I am telling is while all this kind of response is pulling crowds, but the real stuff is the core of RGV (I kinda think of you as Frisco in the way you have fun with people at large, never get them know what is the core RGV)...that clarity of thinking which he has achieved and when I say you should lecture to somebody who are learning in school, there cannot be anybody better than you to walk the talk...but why do you care!

Movies - As your definition is most apt - a conversation...you device some of your interesting mental conversations as movies, a conversation can be interesting or not interesting or both based on persons with whom you are having it. A conversation cannot be a hit or a flop, but maybe here is the only difference, where the movies differ from the conventional conversation...but again for the person who is picturing his thoughts it should only bother if he was able to successfully communicate his thoughts or no, as long as he did, he can go and have his vodka. Anyway that reminds me of the Hari Katha lore in villages in India and one of the proponents of that art form - Chaganti Koteswara Rao...is a very successful story teller, in fact you don't even want a visual medium to get the picture in mind. audio is enough! that is the power of some of the effective communicators. So in that sense, only you have the right to give your self an award to either an Agyath or a Aag or Satya based on what you intended to say and what you achieved.

There were 2 movies released around the same year...Kabhi Alvida Nahin...and Nishabd, in that order and there is a dialogue in the former - Maut aur Mohabath...dono bin bulaye mehmaan hai and I felt what took Karan such a large canvas and more than 3 hrs to say was accomplished by you much successfully in Nishabh, kinda straight talk...again it can just me who understood it that way, others might have thought it in a different way and may be even you don't think so...that is possibly corollary benefit of this medium, each one sees what he wants to see.

Coming back to my initial point, I know you are a rare commodity, and even if you damn care about others, must speak at a academic philosophy forum...

regards

mANNAr

--------------------------

Value of Money!

2009-07-10T15:34:00.013-04:00

I thought of sharing a thought which I had...With what I am today, earning substantially more than I spend in day to day life and have simple needs...(I don't drive a BMW and still don't have a home of my own!), say if I come across somebody, who is very unfortunate and say has his son or daughter suffering with a grave disease and needs an operation and so needs lot of money.

I am not a person who sees a penny in a dime, so I think I can just lend a $1000 as well...and forget it as if it was not mine! People around me think this is highly irresponsible behaviour and have arguments with me...but my internal satisfaction is on that day that money valued more than $1000 to him and it had no value with me... I have made a better investment. Isn't it so??

Rare Talents

2009-06-26T09:09:00.009-04:00

I am deeply sorrowed by the death of Michael Jackson...I am not so much of a music fan...did not hear so much of him or from the place and country I come...I didn't have the privilege of watching him dance, not so much...but the images in my mind (memories) about him had placed him in my heart.

During the last few years...its been a constant looking forward for me to see when he comes back from the mess he is into and starts doing what he is good at. Well it looked like he was just about to make a u-turn...when his shocking end has come!

Michael Jackson and may be few or many others who are extremely talented and a rare commodity and screwed up in life; were they not able to handle that success?...they just messed it up. It was like the whole talent was useless!!

One theory is for these rare commodity persons...he (she) himself is not rare...he is actually the most common person for his self, so he will not view it in any special way; and in fact he knows his weaknesses more closely and hence detests the celebrity status. But none the less he had one talent which world liked to preserve, which rest of them didnt have, so he should have cared more?

Let me elaborate my theory...talent and management of talent are kind of 2 separate entities. Say if some commoner becomes very successful in life because of his talents and he is talking to his car driver one day ..."boy, do you know something, it is just that God has been kind and I have been lucky also that I am sitting behind in this limo and you are driving...it could have aswell just been the opposite!!" Sincerely he is in his all humility sympathsing with the driver, but this is the nature and these are the people who fail in the celebrity or successful state. The rest of the crowd who are not so successful will get into your space and kick you out of there...Not that either of them intended to harm the other, but that is what will happen.
When you the achiever of the status didn't have the sacred feeling of that status or place or yourself...rest of the people whom you are letting them into will definitely not have and they will dirty the place as well as bring you down to comman man status.

So, by management of talented situation, I mean, if you don't have special respect for your self being achieved that status (which subtly means you differentiate with the rest of the people who did not make it to the top), you are bound to loose that status. You need not be hard on others who did not make it there, but you have to have that regard for your self...you need not be egoist, but you need recognize that you are good; you can give credit to God for what you have been, but you need also give credit to yourself!

May his soul rest in peace!

What the hell is this Drama?!

2008-10-01T15:28:00.011-04:00

Doubting Thomas, which I am to the core...in this spurt of monologue (its not been a dialogue until now, so...) I decided to escalate my questions on life, death and the whole drama in between. I need to warn my readers (if any) that I will have dumb and still dumber questions, because most of the times I ask philosophical questions and don't make any effort to find answers which are already published. Or to put it in a very self supportive way - I believe - philosophical questions are to be answered by the same brain which has asked them ...any reading in that regard will influence the answer adversely! (great attempt to cover myself, hah!)

Questions - I have these with me for quite a long time, but recently certain event took place in my life and that has triggered my thoughts on this subject again...

I work in an IT organization, where my day to day job also involves interacting with multiple people and there is lot of coordination, etc...at times you have to review documents and other stuff and give feedback/ correction... The other day was one such normal situation, but due to being busy, I was delayed in performing the regular act of reading, correcting and commenting on a certain document...this thought was there in my mind while going home...decided I will take care of it, the first thing next morning.

Slept in the night, woke up in the morning and realized I had a dream around this subject...(I am not trying to sell that I take my work so seriously and get dreams of the same, no at least my boss will not believe that!) I could remember my dream very vividly - in the dream I was going over that document, reading it to certain detail and making mental notes of my views...nothing abnormal at all... this would have happened to all of us in school, college. In fact for me those were not dreams, they were nightmares and I would wake up in the middle of them and cry...hated books so much!. ... back to current that day...got ready and went to work and in my woken state went over the document. I was shocked...this document was not new to me at all...it was the same I could recollect from my dream! I started getting goose bumps, I couldn't understand what was happening

Part 2 - dated Oct 13, 2008

It took a little more time than I thought for me to come back to our what the hell discussion, the reasons are my thoughts are very scattered around this subject and it possibly would have been easy to deal a sub subject within, but let me continue with the same momentum -

So I was questioning and re-questioning about this life death and all that stuff since I remember like, why is this complex phenomenon of life existing? when even a small needle which comes out a factory has - a why question answered successfully, only after that a series of steps makes that product exist...and while that is true for all the things we can see in this world, except only for the things not done by a human being, we don't know who made and why he/ she made...

We learnt that well read research scientists have reverse engineered a little about life and are able to say life all began with some single celled life bodies and from there things gradually changed to its current shape, size and configuration...it is marvellous, it looks like journey of 286 computers to current whatever (I am not trying to make it less marvellous, I am truly amazed by the journey of life), but here we very well knew who made a 286, why he made and all that. Only that if in a similar way somebody had not visualised this life's journey, it is highly impossible to imagine - things randomly fell in such a highly logical situation.

I am very much part of this highly complex drama of life...very much, I did not get psyched and ended in a mental asylum of sorts...but truely if I was emotional about this question, I should have been, so, no, I am not being emotional about this question WHY, I am trying to logically understand more...

Even the incident I spoke in the first para's of this article, where I said, I was able to read through a document in my dream, I am fairly certain I will explain that logically, this will be simple compared to other bigger questions -

Earth, human beings, objects are all suspended in a highly charged space, Let me extrapolate from simple things like- how does a TV/ mobile/ radio work at my home; there is some source somewhere and there are configuring instruments which broadcast that content into air, charges in the air carry the information and at the receiving end there are some other configuration equipment at my home, which gathers all this from thin air and displays the images on TV, along with the voice, isn't it amazing?? and I must be mad complaining if the voice and images are broken sometimes!! If this is the communication capacity human beings have identified, and used it in their life's conveniences, life itself, which has conceived and built this infrastructure, is such a huge unknown domain, would have possibly much more capacity...so here is the analogy - the document which I read in my dream existed at multiple places, in the mind of the person who created it, in our physical infrastructures (i mean computers) and all that and human mind is a huge center of neurons, which are again basic elements of communication...so my mind could have connected to the document creators mind and read the document there or maybe (I am not sure) the computers??...I am truly amazed with my TV at home, so I am able to talk about this analogy easily.

So my explanation is - if Radio/ TV/ Telephone, etc are realities, there are much more amazing things possible in communication space through human mind itself...

to be continued further....

Where is the line and what is 'crossing the line'

2008-09-10T16:43:00.027-04:00

I was pondering over one of the thoughts for quite sometime now and I would like to start that by asking - Why is having sex outside an existing marriage considered wrong or why only that??
PS: 'wrong' is a very wrong word, but for want of a better word let me continue to use it.

For more clarity let me explain - say a typical marriage, working husband Bunty, housewife Babli...

they both are very much in love...in the beginning
they are inseparable...in the beginning
they eat together, drink together and have a lot of sex...in the beginning off course
Babli likes Sharukh, they only watch Sharukhs movies...in the beginning
Babli likes zee tv...they only watch zee tv
fighting, arguments? no never...it is still in the beginning

While all this is happening TIME is a very cruel observer...he comes in between them...he catches both their hands and walks them through each others hidden rooms...
....when I say hidden room, this is the theory - I think all of us have 2 rooms within us; one front room, which is clean, and this is where we meet people in the beginning, and two is our dirty room, where we stack all our not so nice stuff and all that, which we generally don't want people to see, but few of our very close friends and family members would have walked into and lost the awe we posed to have (no they dont hate us, but the initial hype about the personality is lost). During childhood I would be wondering how great it would be if my father was an Amitabh Bachchan or a Gandhi??.. while whole world watch them on tv or news papers wouldn't it great to watch them day and night and also what not?? but you ask Abhishek, maybe he doesn't think so much more about his father than I think about mine...that's because, our common enemy - Time had helped him see his fathers hidden room.

...now back to our Bunti, Babli - Time was busy showing nooks and corners of back rooms... now, eek! Babli comes to know - Bunty doesn't brush his teeth before he has his morning coffee, he was doing this all his life, why is it so eek now??!...the differences start, arguments begin, fights happen and all that.. what the hell, let me brush the teeth...Bunty yields, Babli conquers...this is the beginning of "change Bunty movement" and mind you change is not easy...monkeys changed to human beings only in a zillion years and I am sure Babli's ancesstors were involved even it that!

with all this changes, etc...the friendliness is slowly lost between Bunti and Babli, he starts getting busy at work, Babli is more cranky, encounters are kept to minimum to manage tension.

At this stage, their inseparable lives started becoming separate...once upon a time when they used to always go together, eat together, watch tv and movies together, they start doing them separately...The other day Bunty was mentioning of a second tv and Babli shot him down!

Hmm! they still have sex ...but now a days rarely...not that drive has come down, but it is difficult to find time in between quarrels!

One of these days, Bunty meets his new colleague Maya...good looking, smart and all that, so Bunty quickly cleans his front room (where he introduced himself to Babli earlier) and they both kept meeting there...firstly work related...but slowly Maya gets interested in Buntys personality, our man - Bunty is smart and witty and Maya used to laugh at all his jokes (Babli had stopped doing that long back, she thought they were silly) they start going out, for lunch, dinner, movies...

and one fine day they crossed the line...they had sex!!!

Note: In the above Bunty and Maya story it could have been Babli and say neighborhood Rohit (Bunty was so busy at work, Rohit entertained Babli at home!) also...

now coming back to my original question - why is having sex outside an existing marriage considered wrong or why only that??

...why did I have to say crossed the line when they had sex, why not when they met, laughed, had fun and all that??
... Let me even change the premise a little bit. Let it not be Maya also, say Bunty's childhood friend Ramu relocates to Bunty's town and they start meeting regularly and have booze and have night long chatting sessions and ignored Babli all together... why is this not crossing the line??

If any of the partner has fun while the other is not part of that, should that be crossing the line?? or otherwise just for the sake of discussion - should fun be a free domain - Bunty, Babli, Maya, Ramu and Rohit can all have fun the way they want it ??

How to pursue personal passions?

2008-09-05T11:27:00.006-04:00

Last few weeks I have witnessed some situations, which led to some of these questions-

What happens if you are passionate about doing or becoming something in life and that is exactly opposite to your partner or your parents thinking? It becomes easy if one direction is a good and other is bad...but life is not such black or white, sometimes, they both are good in their own way. How do we solve the problem?

Modern way of thinking suggests each and every individual has complete right on what he does and so the younger crowd may end up thinking I am talking nonsense, it actually very simple, his life, his passion gets preference. But is life so isolated, are different lives not connected and affect each other??

Say its a one child family, mother and fathers lives are revolving around that child (Indian reader can easily identify with this), child grows up and becomes an individual of his own. He decides, he wants to become a ascetic (a Sanyasi)...now even his parents regard other ascetics and they have themselves thought this child to respect and revere them, but now...they are disturbed, shocked, hurt and what not beyond any explanation.
The child, now a young man is choosing something they all revered, so that is not bad, but parents want to see their son, progress in material life, get married, have children and all that...and also pray and revere somebody else who is a Sanyasi, swami! I think they are following the common man philosophy, most of us lead that life, so even this is not bad.

Applying modern thinking, the young man should do what he wants to do, well, then the mother is very sad, she gives up eating regularly, falls ill, etc...seeing this the father is also unhappy. With all this their child is also unhappy. Becoming a Sanyasi he should be a source of happiness if not all the Mukthi and all that, which we are however not clear. I think Happiness is to some extent in the direction of Mukthi.

So because parents are unhappy, does he sacrifice his passion (or if passion seems odd with a Sanyasi; dispassion)? Even then the unhappiness flows the opposite direction...from the young man to the parents.

What is the solution for this dead lock?

God is Hope, not Fear

2008-08-20T16:41:00.009-04:00

I have been reading and working on certain scripts around beliefs in the super natural, etc. In the recent past such a subject is always dealt with shades of horror.

Recently when we friends were chatting, we felt...Indian mythology is full of Hope, generations have survived by thinking that praying to God is enough and he takes care of you...sharanagathi, is one such process...why none of those have been dealt for a movie or something of that sort...I am not talking about making a Ramayana or a Mahabharata again, but deal with the core of those - veda's, siddantha's in a contemporary way. Baghawat Geeta, why cant this be a subject??

In the recent past I felt Rajanikanth's movie Baba was one such exercise of dealing supernatural power. One thought though is these stories/ movies should not have dark shades or look very primitive, it should be able to connect with todays janta....it has to provide hope. God is hope for all of the people who believed in Him and not a source of fear...

I will continue thinking...and will add my thoughts further...

thanks

Introduction

2008-08-19T14:50:00.002-04:00

Communication is the key

Knowledge, Communication, Information have been more important during the current age than ever...I have been a select reader about certain things which interest me and Internet has provided a very easy platform for me to access my interests...
Blogging are like donning a role of a journalist at will...very interesting and very satisfying. While reporting information is a networked activity between the information creating agent and the publishing interface...application of common knowledge over the information is everybody domain and here is where various flavors of the life situations are arrived. That is where I intend to contribute...

My interests have been primarily -
- Making of movies, concepts and scripts, etc
- Looking at common issues with an uncommon view point
- relationships and their various shades
- and whatever else grabs my attention

I may be sporadic in my work on this blog...but as communication always needs a dialog between more than 1 person...it depends on how interestingly I present myself so that readers in turn draw my attention back...