PS: 'wrong' is a very wrong word, but for want of a better word let me continue to use it.
For more clarity let me explain - say a typical marriage, working husband Bunty, housewife Babli...
- they both are very much in love...in the beginning
- they are inseparable...in the beginning
- they eat together, drink together and have a lot of sex...in the beginning off course
- Babli likes Sharukh, they only watch Sharukhs movies...in the beginning
- Babli likes zee tv...they only watch zee tv
- fighting, arguments? no never...it is still in the beginning
While all this is happening TIME is a very cruel observer...he comes in between them...he catches both their hands and walks them through each others hidden rooms...
....when I say hidden room, this is the theory - I think all of us have 2 rooms within us; one front room, which is clean, and this is where we meet people in the beginning, and two is our dirty room, where we stack all our not so nice stuff and all that, which we generally don't want people to see, but few of our very close friends and family members would have walked into and lost the awe we posed to have (no they dont hate us, but the initial hype about the personality is lost). During childhood I would be wondering how great it would be if my father was an Amitabh Bachchan or a Gandhi??.. while whole world watch them on tv or news papers wouldn't it great to watch them day and night and also what not?? but you ask Abhishek, maybe he doesn't think so much more about his father than I think about mine...that's because, our common enemy - Time had helped him see his fathers hidden room.
...now back to our Bunti, Babli - Time was busy showing nooks and corners of back rooms... now, eek! Babli comes to know - Bunty doesn't brush his teeth before he has his morning coffee, he was doing this all his life, why is it so eek now??!...the differences start, arguments begin, fights happen and all that.. what the hell, let me brush the teeth...Bunty yields, Babli conquers...this is the beginning of "change Bunty movement" and mind you change is not easy...monkeys changed to human beings only in a zillion years and I am sure Babli's ancesstors were involved even it that!
with all this changes, etc...the friendliness is slowly lost between Bunti and Babli, he starts getting busy at work, Babli is more cranky, encounters are kept to minimum to manage tension.
At this stage, their inseparable lives started becoming separate...once upon a time when they used to always go together, eat together, watch tv and movies together, they start doing them separately...The other day Bunty was mentioning of a second tv and Babli shot him down!
Hmm! they still have sex ...but now a days rarely...not that drive has come down, but it is difficult to find time in between quarrels!
One of these days, Bunty meets his new colleague Maya...good looking, smart and all that, so Bunty quickly cleans his front room (where he introduced himself to Babli earlier) and they both kept meeting there...firstly work related...but slowly Maya gets interested in Buntys personality, our man - Bunty is smart and witty and Maya used to laugh at all his jokes (Babli had stopped doing that long back, she thought they were silly) they start going out, for lunch, dinner, movies...
and one fine day they crossed the line...they had sex!!!
Note: In the above Bunty and Maya story it could have been Babli and say neighborhood Rohit (Bunty was so busy at work, Rohit entertained Babli at home!) also...
now coming back to my original question - why is having sex outside an existing marriage considered wrong or why only that??
... Let me even change the premise a little bit. Let it not be Maya also, say Bunty's childhood friend Ramu relocates to Bunty's town and they start meeting regularly and have booze and have night long chatting sessions and ignored Babli all together... why is this not crossing the line??
If any of the partner has fun while the other is not part of that, should that be crossing the line?? or otherwise just for the sake of discussion - should fun be a free domain - Bunty, Babli, Maya, Ramu and Rohit can all have fun the way they want it ??
1 comment:
Mannar, This is also a debate which is a long drawn out kind. As I understand, your point is why 'only' extra marital SEX is considered 'bad' and not the other involvements; which also tend to 'ignore' the life partner while you enjoy your 'day/night'.
The moot question is 'who' is considering it as bad? As I understand our society is considering so. The basic premise for such consideration probably was the question of 'property'. Sociological studies have told us that when society moved from premitive stage to a stage where the concept of property came, then it started. It started with the moot question of who will 'inherit' the property after the death of the parent/s. Then society did not have the faciloity of stopping 'consumation'effect of sexual encounters, they had formulated a 'code of conduct'for the society more as a organisation method(organisation of society to run smoothly) rather than curtailing 'bad' things. Such other bad things also were curtailed- like theft, robbery, etc in an effort to make the society look more orderly. But man is man. some among them found ways to overcome these codes and did what they felt like and when caught doing wrong were termed by society -read the bosses of society, as bad people. Some people never cared;but masses do bow to the dictats of bosses as they consider themselves to be very weak to face the punishment. But now a days- especially in the west, people do not consider 'that' as very bad. Modern day technology has helped the people involved to not to fear of repurcussions of having sex outside marriages.
A news from INdia,you would have read, Maharastra has tried to 'legalise' live in relationships. Enough for now.
Laxminarasimha
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